Gutfeld! : FOXNEWSW : February 16, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PST : Free Borrow & Streaming : Internet Archive (2024)

>> sean: this is breaking look at your screen reports of several fire fighters hurt at the scene of a house fire, this in sterling virginia. these pictures are devastating. our prayers go out to these brave men and women, fire fighters, these families and we pray everybody's going to be okay. all right on this friday night, lot of news this night. unfortunately that's all the time we have left this evening. thank you for being with us and please set your dvrs so you never, ever, ever, ever miss an episode of hannity. but -- and thank you for making this show possible. in the meantime let not your heart be troubled. why? greg gutfeld is up next to put a smile on your face. we hope you have a great weekend. ♪ [cheers and applause]

>> greg: yeah. it never gets old, it never gets old. it's friday, so you know what that means, let's welcome tonight's guests. he was once the gerber baby in 2018, host of the guy benson show, guy benson! [cheers and applause] >> greg: she's cute as a button and has a love for mutten. host of kennedy saves the world podcast, kennedy! [cheers and applause] >> greg: i actually don't mind when he frisks me, former nypd inspector and fox news contributor paul mauro! [cheers and applause] >> greg: and in high school she was voted least likely to eat. new york times best selling author and fox news contributor kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: all right, before we get to some new stories, let's do this.

♪ >> greg's leftovers. ♪ >> greg: yeah, it's leftovers where i read the jokes we didn't use this week and as always it's my first time reading them so if they succeed we'll tie joe machi to a tree and let children beat his body like a pinata. president biden joined tik tok this week even though he just signed a law banning the app on government devices. in his defense he thought he was outlawing breath minutes. it's so stupid. it's so stupid. [cheers and applause] >> greg: yeah, i'll take it. a connecticut woman claims she was lied to about her dna and ended up dating her half brother in high school. don't knock it tell you try it, said one woman. [laughter]

>> greg: cops in new jersey say they've arrested a woman for driving a yellow school bus filled with kids while drunk. i believe we have an image of the suspect. speaking of, new poll suggests kamala harris is even more unpopular than joe biden. but she's quick to point out, she's still as popular as his replacement, kamala harris. that's a real head scratcher. a new report finds that singles have become sick of online dating and are returning to more old fashioned dating strategies. boy do i remember those days. spending hours working up the nerve to call the shy cheerleader and praying her dad or brother didn't pick up the phone. that was last week.

according to a new study, apes have a sense of humor just like humans, however the same can't be said for elephants. [cheers and applause] >> greg: this week, grover from sesame street announced he has a new job as a reporter. his first story, addressing the homeless crisis. [laughter] the connecticut pastor has been arrested for selling crystal meth out of his church's rectory. apparently police became suspicious when no one fell asleep during his sermons. well, at least it was out of his rectory. i don't know why you're laughing. i don't know get it. rfk jr. apologized for a campaign add that ran during a

super bowl that he said he had nothing to do with. well as long as we're apologizing for things we aren't responsible for, i'm sorry about fox and friends. [laughter] >> greg: they're in bed by now. they won't even know. bill post, the inventor of pop-tarts, has died at the age of 96. apparently half way through his cremation his body popped out and he had to be pushed back in until he was done. [laughter] >> greg: unlike pop-tarts, that was in bad taste. oregon has blamed a cat on the first human case of bubonic plague in eight years. police have narrowed it down to one suspect. i mean, it's cute. this week a man was spotted

having sex with another man on top of a moving subway train in new york city. and before you ask, no, i never got his name. it's funny because i'm straight. >> oh. [laughter] >> greg: many users of the new apple vision pro have already returned the device complaining of side effects like headaches and nausea. critics say why pay 35 hundred bucks when you can get that for free. a penn state professor is facing charges after videos were found of him inserting a lollipop and the control handle of a john deere vehicle into his butt. the university says he's been suspended and someone else will have to teach his course, intro

to shoving things up your ass. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> greg: by the way, he also was found in a park sticking a branch up his ass. he defended himself saying, you never heard of playing fetch? research claims that 63% of americans on their first date will hold in their poop. but like anything with dating, it's the complete opposite once you're married. [laughter]. >> greg:s >> greg: ha ha, funny. a uk mom is under fire for flying business class while her 11 month old baby and her boyfriend flew in coach. when she really should be under fire for allowing her 11-month-old to have a boyfriend. maybe i read that wrong. finally, this week former first lady hillary clinton said she

believes that president biden's age is a legitimate campaign issue. that way, when he cross-examination they'll play natural causes instead of her pillow. [cheers and applause] to the news. all right. so who did she hump while prosecuting trump? [laughter] >> greg: donald's prosecutor collapses amid her ethical lapses. so yesterday fani willis the georgia da leading the election fraud case against trump took a stand in a hearing to determine if she had an improper relationship with the lead prosecutor nathan wade. she was cool, she was calm and she was collected. no. she was bat [bleep] crazy. which means [cheers and applause]

>> greg: which means it's time >> greg: which means it's time ♪ ♪ >> growing up my daddy had three safes in the house. my father bought me a lock box and i always keep cash in the house. i always have cash at the house. if you're a woman and you go on a date with a man you better have $200 in your pocket. i don't go on many dates but when you go on a date you should cash in your pocket. >> what you talking about willis. >> i've given him cash only a few times in life most is four p the most was probably $2,500. >> greg: the only money you've ever given him outside a contract was cash. >> i didn't give him money in a contract but that was cute but i didn't give him money in a contract. >> what you talking about willis. >> he likes wine i don't really like wine to be honest with you i like gray goose. i remember we went to, to this place that they do pairings,

that was the most expensive thing that i think that we did while we were there. so they would pair champagne, chocolate and -- champagne, chocolate and caviar. >> what you talking about willis? >> i don't need anybody to foot my bills. the only man who's ever foot my bills completely is my daddy. >> what you talking about willis. >> you're confused you think i'm on trial. these people are on trial from trying to steal an election in 2020. i'm not on trial no matter how hard you try to put me on trial. >> has he ever visited you the place you put your head. >> let me be clear because you lied in this -- let me tell you which one you lied, i think you lied right here. >> your honor i'm going to. >> no, no, no, this is the truth judge. it's a lie, this is a lie. >> what you talking about willis? [cheers and applause]

>> greg: that was nuts, but what's really nuts is that's the person in charge of perhaps one of the most important trials in history that of a former president and this person is both insane and incompetent. her recless efforts to destroy trump cost her to destroy herself. even if she isn't disbarred it would be tough to win reelection. the best thing for her would be to go to work somewhere which matches her skill set. [cheers and applause] >> greg: guy, do you think she helped her cause? >> guy: no, greg, i don't think that she did. by the way, is it officially funny willis, is that how we're supposed to say it. >> greg: funny not fani. >> guy: you know trump's going to be the like folks we love calling her fani. we all know why we love calling her fani, it's so obvious. i like the part where she's like i'm not on trial here. ma'am you and to be sitting in a

witness box being examined about a bunch of inproceed pry is the and i'm no legal expert but it would appear you're on trial. >> greg: you know what's amazing kennedy is, okay, we wouldn't get away with any of that. the judge used to work for her, i believe, and it's pretty clear from the behavior that when he worked for her she treated him really bad because he still has like ptsd. she was running take show, right? >> kennedy: yes, and he almost kicked her right off the stand and disqualified her remarks. she was like i am not a hostile witness. he's like i know you're an adverse witness, there's a difference. learn the law dear. it's really funny because she has invented new ways to be defensive, and i don't know if -- again, like guy, i'm no judge but that's a really good way of determining someone's guilt when they will take absolutely no responsibility for

anything but just find new ways because she obviously alienates all of the men in her life, including the sitting judge and the guy she had the affair with who wants nothing to do with her. >> greg: yeah. >> kennedy: she's like a love sick teen-ager who just did something really, really stupid because she was very impressed with the equipment that nathan wade was packing downtown. i'm talking about his briefcase, guy. >> guy: so she used to work with the judge? does that mean that they perhaps used to sleep together because that she seems to do with her colleagues. >> greg: yeah they're all personal friends and they're all the same, right? >> all rise your honor. [laughter] >> greg: notice he's sitting down the whole time, guy. >> greg: paul you're a cop, a lawyer and a licensed masseuse in guam. >> got to bring that up, huh? >> greg: i had to. why was this behavior acceptable? >> studio guy: wasn't and why do i get the feeling that willis

and wade is not going to be an indemand law firm in the future. right? think about her defense here. her best defense is that, i only started sleeping with him after i hired him and overpaid him. that's her defense. [laughter]. >> studio guy: so maybe you need a lawyer. >> greg: yeah. >> studio guy: realistically i don't know about disbarment here but the case should be moved. she's damaged it so completely and she has potentially opened herself up to perjury charges, abuse of authority. you can't have the people who work under her bring this case now, she can't recuse herself which she should have done already and said okay my office will work it because they all work for her they're beholdened to her. why is this good news, that's a very blue county, if help move it out of fulton, they have to move it out of county the rest of georgia comparatively red. so if they moffitt which they should he has a lot better shot if it even goes to trial. >> greg: here's a question kat

she raised over to testify after wade when she wasn't supposed to and then she said she wasn't watching the testimony. then how did she know when the come over and how did shy know what to say. isn't that like -- didn't she break the law there? >> going to be hard to prove but yes it looked like she was monitoring this and as a witness she's not supposeded to do that and she knows that. god she knew. and she burst in and forced herself to take the stand, worst legal decision of her life and clearly she's had a few others. >> greg: yes. kat she kept a lot of money around the house >> kat: she said $15,000. and she's like it's a good practice i would advise all women to do that. i'm taking her advice, i'm going to spend my weekend going to 75 atms taking out 200 at each one and stacking it around the house. and i'm sure no -- you know, cam will be like, yeah, this is normal. of course it's good practice for all women.

okay. obviously this is all messed up and all, but she is interesting to listen to. like i would watch a show, like a reality show, podcast, whatever. i would like to like not be her friend but like go out with her like one of those friends you have to go out with but you have to deem them over here so you don't get close to any of her weird [bleep]. more of a spectator sport. >> guy: can i pitch it right now? real prosecutors of atlanta. >> kat: absolutely. >> guy: i would watch the hell out of that. [cheers and applause] >> i love it. >> kennedy: i feel like it would devolve into pay per view between nathan wade and fani willis pretty i cannily. i don't know that i would want to pay for that, even in cash. >> greg: god she's great. all right we have to move on. up next the constitution bore the brunt of a dumb climate stunt. now i feel free to bare my skin, thanks to skyrizi. ♪(uplifting music)♪

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♪ . (cheers and applause) >> greg: thank you, thank you. should they face electrocution for attacking the constitution? the country's in thafshls when no one stops vandals. check out this wild video of two climate activists inside the archives rotunda this week. they dumped red powder all over the case that holds the constitution and themselves right in front of tourists and a handful of security guards who appear to be ceremonial. [laughter] >> greg: you think this looks stupid? it's even dumber with sound. >> we will not be held account to which we have no voice or representation. this country's founded on the

conditions that all men are created for -- we're calling for all people to have these rights not just wealthy white men. we all deserve clean air, water, food and a little -- >> greg: i can safely predict those two will never be wealthy white men. [cheers and applause] >> but you know they do have those rights which is why they get to say stupid stuff in public places while vandalizing america's founding documents. and they aren't thrown in a goo lag for life if america was as bad as they say it is they wouldn't be able to do that. they were reportedly arrested and taken into custody and the rotunda, which should be the name for brian stelter, was closed for cleaning yesterday and today.

but you have to ask why is security just standing there doing nothing. you know, besides the fact that they do work for the government. they look like me when i helped kat move. [laughter] >> greg: but what good is security at this point if you're allowed to just go up and trash the constitution. seems the capitol is just as wide open as our southern boarder. i'm sure there's some provision in the handbook which says you can't just beat down an activist but i doubt they'll face any hard time because these days justice is only one day they get a slap on the wrist and then be paid a million dollars for that slap. but i suppose what ime most is that we do nothing to stop it t security guards, look at them. i've seen a calmer response from my grandma when i drained her savings to renovate my boathouse. kennedy. >> kennedy: greg. >> greg: i'm sure you've thought about this. what is the solution? >> kennedy: so they have to be treated as though the red powder might actually be anthrax and they have to be tackled like

they're terrorists because if they're doing something that unpredictable that's also that political, you don't know if two bleep bleep beta cucks could commit an act of violence and you have to assume that and any time someone perpetrates an act like this -- they tried to deface the constitution so someone should deface them by taking the constitution on them. [cheers and applause] >> greg: to be clear, for viewers at home, she means defecate. >> kennedy: that's right greg. >> greg: paul, you know what gets me about the security, the fact that they do nothing, is that these are the same people that will scold you if you take a photo too close or if the kings are singing. >> studio guy: like the librarian trying to quiet you down. i think that was the first time that freys has been used on tv. think about this one of the

first things you do when you go into law enforcement is take an oath to defend the constitution. >> greg: that's true. here it is, the literal constitution. >> studio guy: for god's sake. [cheers and applause]. >> i mean, i cannot stand these people. i mean, really. these are the ones that really get -- i think most people's goats because they're so sanctimonious and everything else. first of all they should be made to clean it, right? and they should be made to sing the national anthem while they do it and we should be able to shoot spit balls at them while they do it. the thing that's really in play here, and i think kennedy touched on it is this is done for political purposes. now generally violence plus a political motive is terrorism. right? so what happens when you do something less than terrorism that's politically motivated it's a gap in the law. this is the kind of thing we're seeing when they're shutting down highways and that sort of stuff the laws aren't really very good which is why when they

want to enforce they can't, they get right out. this is a circ*mstance where you need a law and remember something their statement and response to this was we're fermenting a row bell on. that's the term. sounds a lot like insurrection to me, if i can end on that note. >> greg: i think you should. kat i always say, and you heard me say it many times, punishment has to put the person in the situation that was worse than if they hadn't done the act. the problem is you can't maybe their lives worse >> kat: yeah. yeah, you really can't because, think about it. this wasn't just something like, a brunch that got out of hand, right? this was planned. so they made this plan to do this and then they actually followed through like with the plan. which is, who are you, right? who are you how do you get to the point in your life where you're talking to your friend like, you know what we should do? and then you actually do it. you actually go and get --

wherever you get the bunch of powder and then you go and then you're like nobody is like -- you know what? i'm not feeling well today, maybe we'll throw powder on the constitution another time. i don't understand, there's something so off with you fundamentally so many steps along the way to get to this point. they should be studied. >> greg: they should be studied. they should do a bachelor with nothing but those guys. i would watch the hell out of that. and dani could be the bachelorette. huh? see i'm thinking. you know, guy, your name's so easy to remember. because if you forget you just say guy. so, guy -- >> guy: never heard that one before, greg. >> greg: there's probably a reason for that. you know, we saw these football fans tackle these shooters, right, at the parade. so basically the average citizen would do the right thing. the security guards don't. if they were like two, you know,

kansas city chiefs fans in the rotunda, those little, whatever kennedy called them, would be flat. >> guy: they would. i look i can the idea from paul to force them to clone it up but if would just left the footage a little longer someone beat them too it. we're like wove a huge amount of unknown sketchy substance, hunter biden showed up and it was gone. >> greg: but also like fine them for the punitive damages -- they had to close it down for two days. >> yeah. >> greg: and there's the people, you pay their salaries. they probably -- they must have home addresses that you can send bills to. they have to pay the bills and if they don't then you arrest them. but it's true, there's a huge gap in the law for this sort of behavior and it's a gap we need to fill with love. all right, up next, she was forced to step down over a stupid pronoun. cheers) sore throat got your tongue? mucinex instasoothe sore throat medicated drops. uniquely formulated for rapid relief that lasts and lasts.

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♪ >> greg: five words: pronouns cost non-gerian volunteer job. all right paul this is a terrible story 90-year-old california woman was forced to step down from her volunteer position at the national ms society, that's multiple sclerosis after she asked for clarity on the use of pronouns. she saw people signing their e-mails with pronouns and asked several times what they meant before they fired her and she was fired for failing to abide by the company's dei standards. she had volunteered for 60 years. [boo]. >> greg: i know. who does that. how do you feel now mr. mauro. >> paul: don't blame me. we don't fight back, we don't sue. you know why that is? old people don't have a pronoun. old people -- we should all have

our own individual pronoun so when we get in circ*mstances like this we can sue because that's where it would hurt them and you hit them back. they have that leverage over you so they use it. the story here though, from where i sit is that, if you're going to do this kind of thing, if you're going to go after old people, et cetera, you're going to pull the resources from volunteers, then don't expect the rest of us anymore to pony up for you. and you hear this about various charities, a number of them are bringing people in from panama down south et cetera. i have to say a lot of the giving that i used to do and a lot of the rest of us do we really should look at because this dei stuff has permeated it and you're not supposed -- the story goes oh dei will go away when i have a heart surgery. oh, i don't care who it is, i just want the best person. no. all of these medical societies and these charities they're all infected with this stuff and we are he a all going to have at some point a medical procedure from somebody who's completely unqualified but they check a dei box. so that formulation no longer in

place and you're seeing it in circ*mstances like this. >> greg: this is why i get all my surgery in tijuana. the vans are small but they give good anesthetics. kat this is one of the reasons i preemptively stopped giving to charities 20 years ago because i knew, i knew this was going to happen. i don't trust any charities. not the salvation army, i don't trust that fat guy. >> kat: uh-huh. you know, look, this story seems to me she was kind of just asking questions because she wanted to understand, no one should have a problem with that. but also you can't be cancelling somebody who's 90. as far as i've always understood it, one of the great things about getting to be 90 is i thought you were like supposed to be allowed to be insensitive. she could have taken it -- you're supposed to be like a belligerent ass ho like

screaming of offense, because you're 90, people are whatever, she's 90, she doesn't know. that's the only reason i want to get old. [laughter] [cheers and applause]. >> greg: it does show you how militant -- >> kat: yeah, at the meetings did knob bring up, well she is 90? end of discussion. you make it to 90, you can say whatever you want. [cheers and applause]. >> guy: and you can run for president probably. [laughter] >> greg: it is true, though. like shows how militant this ideology is that they will not cut -- they are resistant to any kind of compromise and it's campusry that its anti speech when they say you have to do this. >> right after 60 years of volunteer work they're firing a 90 year old for asking the wrong questions about pronouns. it's beyond parity. it's something we would cook up, at fox and friends perhaps, and say look at this outrage but this is actually real. it's nuts.

i think most people can understand that this is disgusting. and the one thing that i'm not sure i'm on board with, though, is withholding donations from the ms society, because then at he look i can are we rooting for ms because we're so mad at the society people need help from people like her. how about the woman who fired her gets fired. >> paul: won't happen. >> kennedy: yeah! >> greg: i believe, whoever is in charge of this foundation just retired i think like yesterday, or maybe i just dreamt that, i don't know. maybe it was ms-13. i get everything confused kennedy. but what kills me is they would rat -- this is how cowardly people are. >> kennedy: are you telling me i donated money to an el salvadorian gang? >> greg: yes, yes. but what gets me crazy is that they would rather fire a 90-year-old volunteer than tell

some woke piece of [bleep] to [bleep] off. [cheers and applause] >> greg: so it's not just about the woke person who complained, it's about all the cowards that just let this stuff happen. >> kennedy: yeah. and to kat's point, you are supposed to be outspoken. you are supposed to live out loud if you've lived to 90 and you're still working. having said that, fran, real pain in the ass. you know, that's an angle hall we have not really discussed here but just because you're 90, doesn't mean you're nice and i think they were looking for a reason. >> greg: yeah, they might have been. >> kennedy: fran was pissing in the coffee pot and no one writes about that in the new york post. >> greg: that's not true kennedy. >> kennedy: could you imagine if it was. >> greg: yeah, so they used this as an excuse because fran was being too mean to somebody? i don't know. >> paul: the other problem, let's face fabbing, when you cancel a 90 year old you could really cancel a 90 year old.

that's kind of what's keeping people, older people engaged in this stuff, to stay involved, you know. >> greg: that might have been the thing that kept her going. >> paul: that's my point. >> greg: and it also seems to be they're running out of people to cancel when you're going after 90 year olds. coming up, our guests get vocal on stories that are local. and lost some weight. in studies, the majority of people reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. i'm under 7. ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as stroke, heart attack, or death in adults also with known heart disease. i'm lowering my risk. adults lost up to 14 pounds. i lost some weight. ozempic® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. don't take ozempic® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects may include pancreatitis. gallbladder problems may occur.

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♪ >> coast to coast with stories that matter most. you're watching local news with emmy winning actor kelly crystal kelly, replacing chet van jansen, who died. and now, here's kelly [cheers and applause]. >> hi, i'm kelly crystal kelly and this is local news where every guest brings a story from wherever they're from. kennedy why don't you go first. >> kennedy: thank you very much kelly, great to be with you tonight. and i would like to start by highlighting a very special company in my home turn around don't drown of portland oregon called secret ard remark which sounds like a euphemism two

homeless men do to each other underneath a bridge. at actual will i a hot sauce company that hillary clinton will probably try to promote herself through that is going to partner with taco bell that will be the secret sauce that will make you ten pounds lighter when you run for the border at 2:00 in the morning. another favorite salt and straws selling their own version of the taco chalk 0 at taco bell, that also sounds like a euphemism where one might make a constitution on a woman's lady parts, but it's not. [cheers and applause] back to you kelly. >> can i just say, that was not on the prompter >> kat: that's what i was going to say. >> she did that on her own >> kat: there was nothing on the prompter, that was all from memory. amazing. guy, why don't you try to follow that. >> guy: i can't compete with that. oh, here's a fun story for you, kelly. so a man in dc has sued various

actors after -- i think this is a nightmare, he bought powerball tickets. his name is joseph cheeks. he bought powerball tickets, had his numbers from like his family's birthdays. he wakes up the next day sees the numbers on the dc official lotto web site and has won $340 million. so he's over the moon. turns out the web site had the numbers wrong. he didn't actually win. so he went to collect, they're like no sir throw your ticket in the garbage it's worth nothing. he's nowing suing them, i'm not saying he's going to win that much, like 340 million but he should win something for being put through that. you had one job. >> greg: wouldn't it be great if before he cashed in he tells his wife, you're out of here bitch, and he quits his job. >> yeah. >> greg: and then he quits his job, he torches his home, see ya been.

>> this is a typor >> kat: yeah. there's definitely some stuff that you do when you suddenly think you have hundreds of millions of dollars that you didn't have before, that i would do, at least. go ahead. >> paul: apparently new york city is now the priciest pizza city in the country. the average by has risen to $33.65, and some of the bow teak sort of pizzerias and we have no shortage are up near 35, 40, even $50 for a pie. and listen, it is not worth it. i can tell you, i can date the death of new york city's pizza. it's right about 1996/97, i walked in and there was broccoli on the pizza. and that -- i mean, pineapples were bad enough but once they started doing broccoli you're not getting 35, $40 out of me for broccoli pizza. so don't go for it.

and i will admit chicago deep dish which they kind of denigrate in this piece, i kind of prefer it. >> oh, no. >> kennedy: how dare you. >> paul: i know, i know. i'm not supposed to. >> kennedy: stop and frisk. >> paul: i didn't have it until i was in my 40s. >> guy: go join the chicago police department okay, paul? get out of here. >> paul: really good. >> guy: that's lasagne >> kat: i like pizza with pineapple. it's my favorite. >> paul: do you really? >> kat: wow they like that more than you? that never happens. all right, greg. >> greg: i'm so happy, this comes from the lehigh valley, i spent a lot of time there in pennsylvania. a peeps-themed hotel suite is now available at an easton area hotel if you're look at booking the sweet execute from march 11th to march 6th there are peeped themed pillows decor and sweet amenities and you also get a tour of the peeps factory. i love -- i mean, i don't love peeps but they're such an

amazing marshmallow treats they come in the shapes of bunnies and chicks and people don't realize they're an amazing food for children, corn syrup and food dies and without that children will die. they're insolable in sulfuric acid. isn't that great? aren't you happy. by the way, the company just born makes roughly $300 million a year and they make hot tamales and mike and ikes. hmm? didn't think you would learn that >> kat: no glad i did now. >> guy: are you saying peeps are chicks that you don't have to pretend to like? [laughter] >> kat: all right. up next, it's always a win when we mail it in. ♪ [cheers and applause]

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♪ >> yep, you're watching mailing it in. >> greg: welcome to mailing it in. let's get started. biggen asks what's your horrific valentine's day story. we'll go to you guy.

>> guy: so this is awkward because my worst valentine's day story was referenced earlier in the show. it was from this very year. you and i were on top of a subway train, greg. [cheers and applause]. >> it didn't end well. >> greg: yeah. at least we finished on time. i don't even know what that means. >> guy: that was the problem, we didn't. >> greg: well, we both got off at the right -- kennedy, save us. you must -- you had quite the dating life. you must have an amazingly horrible valentine's day story. >> kennedy: yes i showed up at a guy's house with a giant boom box held it over my head playing peter gabriel's in your eyes and

guy came out and said for the 700th time guy i'm gay. and i said that's okay i see the doorway to a thousand churches we can go get married in any one of them. >> greg: oh, you poor thing. kat >> kat: i've already shared my worst valentine's day story. >> greg: which one was it? oh, getting dumped at the he- >> kat: no, that watts memorial day weekend. >> greg: what was the worst valentine's day >> kat: well okay. there was this guy i was sort of -- we were like sort of -- whatever. whether you're single or not can sometimes be a spectrum so i wasn't sure or whatever and i hadn't heard from him all day. this is so bad. and then he sent me an e card. but no listen to what it said. it said happy black history month is half way over. so i didn't talk to that guy anymore. i will never forget it.

i just sat there. i just sat there and i just was like, what have i done? told you it was bad. >> greg: and that person was morgan freeman. [laughter] >> greg: oh, god. paul, as a cop you must have --. >> paul: last year. last year. so i'm married about 20 years at that point and my wife buys me something really nice comes in an amazon box she opens it up me, et cetera, i'm standing there and i realize what she's doing and i realized, oh, my god, it's valentine's day. and what's even worse she did the worst thing she could have done to me which is, oh, honey, i understand. you know, i mean, it really hit me with a baseball bat stab me in the eye but just saying that just destroyed me and yet i still didn't buy her anything. >> greg: what did she get you by

the way? >> paul: shoes. in fact these i think. >> greg: oh, very nice. god, this was a long time ago but i remember i was so excited that she said yes, we went to ruby tuesday's, i borrowed my parents' car and we had it -- you know, i didn't have a lot of money and it was great and we went to the movies but the movie was rated r and she wasn't old enough to get in. yeah, that was last year. [laughter]. >> so the cheerleader did answer the phone. >> yes, yeah. >> greg: don't go away. we'll be right back. o he takes . the world's #1 sleep aid brand. and wakes up feeling like himself. get the rest to be your best with non-habit forming zzzquil. ♪ ♪

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nexium 24hr prevents heartburn acid before it begins. get all-day and all-night heartburn acid prevention with just one pill a day. choose acid prevention. choose nexium. we're out of time thanks to guy benson, kenned i did, paul mauro kat timpf, fox news at night with dreamy trace gallagher is next. i'm greg gutfeld, i love you america. >> trace: good evening i'm trace gallagher, it's 11:00 p.m. on the east coast 8:00 here in los angeles and this is america's late news, fox

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